Now that several different agencies offer "support" for the NHS, the incongruous and disjointed nature of experiencing treatment options such as talking therapy, mindfulness or other non drug based treatment is a common stress factor for many people in my position. I've been fighting depression for around 8 years. I've had to leave jobs, relationships have ended, I've moved to a new city and I'm attempting to start a new career. These life events are stressful in their own right, without the added confusion of dealing with inadequate mental health services who don't appear to communicate with each other very effectively.
Like many people, I've been taking citalopram for over three years now and it's numbing effects generally do prevent me from feeling consistently suicidal or so low that I can't function. Saying that, some days are still too much of a struggle and there are days I can't get out of bed. SSRIs like citalopram generally work best when combined with effective talking therapy. I am willing to do as much of this as it takes to make me feel well again and I've had some success with private therapy in the past. Unfortunately, I haven't got much money. Several years in and out of employment due to a severe mental health condition will do that, you see. So that option is no longer available to me. I'm losing so much faith in our current system of support that where I would once have been enraged at the ineptitude of the multiple service providers and the NHS, I now feel nothing but weary acceptance of the fact that there isn't enough money to help people like me. If I didn't have my friends and family, I would be dead. It's that simple. If something doesn't change very soon, a lot more people will lose their lives to a treatable and manageable condition that we as a society are unable to cope with.
